Top 5 insecurities: Part 1 – Sense of being unaccepted

A couple of days ago, while I was cleaning up my files, I came across notes of a message I gave to a youth group a few years ago about insecurities. I read through the content and found how relevant it still is, and was reminded of how I overcame each of the insecurities that kept me from doing God’s will.

Insecurities are things that make us uncertain about our own worth and make us look to others for our value. Insecurities put us down and tell us we’re not good enough to do something, be with someone, or deserving of any sort of recognition. Insecurities can and have stopped me from fully doing God’s will and being the person that I know I can be.

In the next 4 weeks, not including this week, I will be going over five major insecurities (besides sin) that keep us from doing God’s work (subscribe so you don’t miss out).

Before I go on, I would like you to write down 5 facts about yourself (personalities, goals, etc.) or where you are in life right now. It can be your insecurities or your securities. I will go over this in my last post.

As I go into details of the insecurities, you’ll notice that each one of them seeps into the other. You may identify with one or a couple of these.

 

Top one of Five Insecurities Keeping You From Doing God’s Work:

1. Sense of being unaccepted

This starts from early on. It developed from growing up with a lack of being accepted or loved for who you are by either family or from being isolated at school. No one wanted you in their group. As you grow into adulthood and haven’t resolved or know what your true worth is, it can make you feel like you’re not good enough for anything.

After becoming an adult and life seems to go alright. You’re in a good place now. You’ve found a church and started attending regularly. The people are nice. But, you have not reached out to other members of the congregation that haven’t spoken to you first. You haven’t volunteered to be a greeter, become a sabbath school teacher, or be involved in any leadership position. You may want to but fear that having always been unaccepted you would be rejected by people for trying to do God’s work. What if you step into a role and everyone disappears because they don’t like you? It’s better to just be where you are right now, right?

Wrong.

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God” Romans 15:7.

I just want to remind you that once you accept Christ into your life, you are no longer the “unaccepted” but the accepting. You belong to God now and your fellow Christians have accepted you (and yet, I have to make room here to say, some will not have the strength to accept you, but that, my friend, is because of their own insecurities). You have a different role to play as the accepted child of God. You now have to accept others and love others so that God’s love can shine through you. Accept yourself as God has, then accept others where they are and eventually, those who do not accept you will turn around their ways.

It is not easy to always face rejection and strive forward in the same path, but as we walk with God we will face rejection time and again. We will not be accepted into many spaces. My question here is, do you want to be accepted into those places?

Ok, everyone is NOT called to lead in ministries, BUT everyone is called to lead – to step out in faith and shine their light for the world to see God, even if that world is the world of one person. YOU are called to make a difference. No, you don’t have to be worship leader, or even on the worship team. You don’t have to be a greeter; you don’t have to be a ministry leader. Some of us are just not called to do that or are not quite there yet. But what you can do, to take baby steps, you can support the leaders in your church. Write memos to say “hey, I see you. You make a difference.” Don’t like writing? Just walk up to any one of them and say “Thank you for leading worship, the song you sang today spoke to me,” “thank you, Pastor, for another great message,” “thank you for working the slides, it helped me receive the message/song clearly.”

I cannot tell you enough that leaders need words of encouragement, recognition (that you see them, hear them, etc.), so they don’t feel like the work they do is worthless, that it goes unnoticed. Yes, the work is done for God and we shouldn’t seek recognition, but it is nice to know that it reached someone. My fear of being unaccepted is when people find out that I am a Christian and restrain themselves around me or keep away from me. I didn’t want to be seen as a stiff Christian. I have, in the past, not been as I wanted to be as a Christian in order to be viewed as normal and approachable.

That didn’t make me happy. I hid my light, my happiness, who I wanted to be, to fit what I think the people around me would accept. The biggest issue here was I didn’t accept who I was. As a result, I lived on the outskirts of both worlds and couldn’t commit to either side completely. That is wrong.

I wanted the world to love me, but I couldn’t fully do everything the world desired because it wasn’t in my nature and I hear a voice telling me “no.” I chose to follow Christ but I couldn’t commit to God. I unintentionally chose to live a perpetual life of unacceptance. And sadly, I’ve chosen not to live as a true Christian whose identity should be in Christ only. I was serving two gods and that means I’m not serving God.

It took me a while to realize this and even longer to slowly come out of my shell and decided that I was done being on the edge of both worlds. It was time to choose one side. I started to stand up for what I believed in even if I look stupid. I started to speak up about being a Christian and educating others about what it really means to be a Christian. I didn’t always, and still don’t have the answer to many questions, but I have my story of salvation, my life story of deliverance. I started to be happy with myself. I accepted myself, my choices, my identity in Christ. And you know what? People started to simply accept that I am who I am. I get invited to do things, but I reject them when they don’t fit the plans God has for me. And it’s okay if they don’t ever invite me again because the only invitation I need is from God and to be with God’s people doing work for His kingdom. That is my place of acceptance. (Disclaimer: you won’t always find acceptance in a church. You have to learn discernment and see which church God calls you to be at).

Don’t wait for others’ approval and acceptance of you. Accept yourself first and never falter when others don’t get you. God accepted you as you are and is working to improve you as you also seek self-growth in Him. You are strong, you are beautiful, you are worthy.

 

I can’t wait to see you in the next post! I love to share more with you and hope that you’ll share your walk with God with me. I value your testimony as it lifts me up. I hope my testimonies do the same for you.

 

If this post resonates with you, subscribe and save to read again. 

Read the rest of the series on insecurities here:

    1. Top 5 insecurities: Part 1 – Sense of being unaccepted
    2. Top 5 Insecurities: Part 2 – Broken home, dysfunctional family, loss of a loved one
    3. Top 5 Insecurities: Part 3 – Poor body image
    4. Top 5 Insecurities: Part 4 – A history of being overshadowed by others
    5. Top 5 insecurities: Part 5 – Serious “life failures”

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